My baby
Mood:  chillin'
So I went to school .. nthing to interesting there, and when I got home Jordan was already there! hee hee .. so yeah me and him went downstairs and he changed my lightbulb for me.. cause my lights are in the ceiling so .. im waay to short for all that now! haha.. but yeah then we went upstairs.. talked to mom..she went back to work .. ate, watched T.V .. and then we went through old pictures.. i mean back when i was a little one .. lol .. they were so cute. . then my poppa asked us to put the rocking chair together for my momma, so we did that .. then went downstairs and hung out .. then he left.. Today was wounderful! lol .. I love you hunnie bunches... of oats.. lol .. haha

Things I dont understand
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: How could you by Mario
Topic: Motherfuckers!
Okay so im piised at two things right now .. one Jordan.
Me and him were talking on AIM and he goes "and another thing i thought about we need to slow down on the sex"
what the fuck? okay it does take two people to have sex! TWO PEOPLE! not just one! Not saying he blames it on me, but still .. like why dont you think of this before it happens? Or why dont you grow some balls and not get yourself in positions as to where sex could happen? It's fuckin' stupid .. It pisses me off more then anything .. like okay .. so basically because he thinks we should slow down on sex we slow down on sex. Which is fine with me, i dont need sex in my life. But I hate the way he just randomly brings things up. And the wya he words things .. drives me nuts!! absolutly nuts! urgh .. today is one of those days I should have just stayed in bed and not done shit.
School was fine, nothing really happened there, the other thing im pissed about I'm not posting in here because I dont feel like typing it all out .. I'm sure ill update later though...

Hic -ups
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Untitled by Simple Plan
Topic: Motherfuckers!
Hey Beautiful, well i cleaned my room and the computer room .. i guess you could call it! Go me bitches!lol.. So i got upset with my mother today more like 10 minutes ago, She knows I hate when Justin and Chrissy cook these Fajita things, their fuckin gross! But what does my mother do? Gets drunk off her ass and lets them cook it! urgh.. I can't win!lol..so Iwent out to the Flordia room and bitched to my dad about it and he said " go cook a corndog, and put carrots on a plate with ranch dressing..theres your dinner!" ..gee thanks dad! lol. but it sounded good to me, and I couldnt think of anything better toeat so I went into the kitchen and fixed it. It was yummy! Anyway .. more deep random thoughts from Annie! whoo here we go!

So another thing I was thinking about. Jordan and I. I've been mean to him lately, and im not sure why. I think it's because no matter what day it is he's the only one I consistinitly talk to every single day. i dont know, im not mad at him or anything. I posted a topic on the Asylum about the whole Natalie situation, and they made me feel better ..sorta. Sometimes I grow aggitated with this situation, but I find myself not caring about it anymore. Who is she to me? No one. A Nobody. She is to me, what the girls who live around Jordan are to me. Nothing. So why treat her any different then jsut that? right? I'm starting to trust Jordan alot more as the days go by. He's a very sincere person,i found this quote today that made me think of him. It said " guys always make girls cry, but when a girl makes a guy cry, she must mean alot to him" which made me smile.. given mine and Jordan's situations.. lol. Whoo.. my beep beep is beeping so i'll update tonight, or tomorrow? Love yas!
[AnNi3]

Opening up
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: the sound of alot of fans in the basement
Topic: Thoughts
So today was every uneventful .. which usaully leads to me doing lots and lots of thinking, Jordan spent the night lastnight he's so cute when he sleeps. He left around 1 today. I got my boostmobile yesterday .. so now I can "beep beep" people .. or direct connect for those of you who aren't sure what the hell " beep beep" means.I decided not to do a xanga anymore . I dont like it anymore it got lame, yeah we'll see how long this lasts right? of course.

So i got to thinking today .. why should I care what people think about the way I feel? right . It's my life, not theirs. My choices, Not theirs. My feelings, Not theirs. Why try to hide things from people who really cares? In the end no one does. The way someone feels isn't going to matterin a year or a month or even a week or possibly a day. Feelings change all the time .. sometimes feelings get strong, other times feelings seem to drift away and disapear. Im tired of hiding things. It's stupid and way to much effort so fuck it. I can't wait for school to be out, im so happy. Next year I wont be attending Whetstone, hopefully. Which is good not because i can't " handle" the drama, or the kids there but because I get distrated to easily if there's an open oppurtunity to skip class or talk instead of do my work im going to take that advantage.That's not a good habit. Doing home school will be much better plus with Chrissy having the new baby she's going to need help the first few months with Kayla. So ya know why not? I love watching and spending time with Kayla so I might as well volunteer for it.

So as I was thinking about school being over soon I relized that all the time i've basically wasted wasn't worth it. I'm not going to talk to 3/4 of the people I do nowadays.So why throw away my education, my morals, or anything on them? Pointless.Crushes on guys come and go . And so do friendships, but thats apart of life. besides the whole "crush" thing is over rated. And the fact that im with Jordan, makes crushes seem so pointless. And they are really.. why set yourself up for possible rejection? i dont know, maybe im just rambling. But no more of this, im not wasting anymore time on those people. Im done, gone. And im ready to move on with my life, get my shit together and be done with high-school.Close this damn chapter already.

I'm also sick of hearin people say " i want to die" or " i cut myself again". Those aren't the type of people I can put myself around. not to be mean or act like im better or dont care, but i've been down that road, and I dont ever want to go back to it. I overcame the whole cutting experience and the suicidial trips.And no matter how much or how many reasons you give these people none of them are good enough for them to want to live. So if they aren't happy with themselves, or their life and they still aren't willing to change it, then the bottom line is .. No one cane make you happy except for you. You cant except someone to walk into your life and make you completely happy 24/7 ! It doesnt happen like that, you have to make yourself happy.. no one else can. It sucks and it can be hard .. but hey .. no one ever said life was going to be easy. In the end everything will work out the way it was intended to. And that's my entry for today, well right now... I might write more later!!

[aNNie]